Funny Ironic Quotes

Funny Ironic Quotes Biography
we even have ironic facts .. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark

What a nice night for an evening.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Those who judge others will burn in Hell!

Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.

I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

There's no such thing as nonexistence.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

I always try to do things in chronological order.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Death to all fanatics!

An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.

It's deja vu all over again.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

I always wanted to be a procrastinator!

Rehab is for quitters!

Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

Some people type so fast that forget to include

I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.

Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.

I disagree with unanimity.

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Avoid Alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator... never got around to it.

Freedom of speech is overrated.

* The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable. - Paul Dean

* I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer

* The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

* Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin, American comedian

* To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. - Albert Einstein, math wiz, “ya think?”

* Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby, American comedian

* In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country of America, capitalism triumphed over democracy. - Fran Lebowitz

* Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

* Polite conversation is rarely either. - Fran Lebowitz

* Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

*** For more laughs make sure you visit my other blog, The Social Poets, for late night show quips, jokes and funny videos all in one Roundup of Sunday Funnies post every Monday. Cheeky Quote Day is on Wednesdays and Editorial Cartoons Roundup on Saturdays.

*** Check out my other humor blog, Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd, where I park whatever I find while cruising the web, a variety of goodies!

*** To keep you laughing and arm you with some interesting trivia check out 25 Weird Coffee Trivia to Astound and Amuse You! Funny coffee related photos too, enjoy!
A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. - Joey Lauren Adams
A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it. - Anonymous
A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters
A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition. - Charles Caleb Colton
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - E.F. Schumacker
Character is higher than intellect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. - George Bernard Shaw
Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
Every man is a potential genius - until he does something. - Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lynd
Every person of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lun
Every true genius is bound to be naive. - J.C.F. von Schiller
Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings
Genius is an African who dreams up snow. - Vladimir Nabokov
Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one. - E.B. White
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. - George-Louis de Buffon
Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. - Apple Computer
His genius he was quite content in one brief sentence to define; Of inspiration one percent, of perspiration, ninety nine. - Thomas A. Edison
I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. - Buckminster Fuller
I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring. - James McNeill Whistler
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. - Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
I think the world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. - John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. - Stanley Garn
If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't. - Emerson M. Pugh
In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self Reliance," Essays, 1841
Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. - Ambrose Bierce
Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart. - Henri Frederic Amiel
Men of genius are meteors destined to burn themselves out in lighting up their age. - Napoleon Bonaparte, Discours de Lyon, 1771
Passion holds up the bottom of the universe and genius paints up its roof. - Chao Chang
Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. - George Scialabra
Primitive does not mean stupid. - Anonymous
Since when was genius found respectable? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. - Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better. - Carl Jung
Talent is that which is in a man's power; genius is that in whose power a man is. - James Russell Lowell, Literary Essays
The course of every intellectual, if he pursues his journey long and unflinchingly enough, ends in the obvious, from which the non-intellectuals have never stirred. - Aldous Huxley
The difference between intelligence and education is this: intelligence will make you a good living. - Charles F. Kettering
The invention of IQ does a great disservice to creativity in education. - Joel Hildebrand
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. - Oscar Wilde
The reluctance to put away childish things may be a requirement of genius. - Rebecca Pepper Sinkler
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. - Don Herold
This is the nature of genius, to be able to grasp the knowable even when no one else recognizes that it is present. - Deepak Chopra
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. - Mark Twain
We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. - Louis Aragon
We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow. - President Woodrow Wilson
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult. - Sigmund Freud
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. - Jonathan Swift
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
Funny Ironic Quotes
You have read this article Funny Ironic Quotes with the title Funny Ironic Quotes. You can bookmark this page URL Thanks!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...