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Valentine s Day Funny Quotes Biography
If you've landed here in search of a sweet sonnet or other classically romantic line to share with a loved on this Valentine's Day, you might not have come to the right place. But if jokes about the notoriously divisive holiday by some of our favorite comedians is what you're looking for, then we've got you covered.
Check out what 15 different comedians have said in their acts about the day where every person -- not just those in relationships -- has the chance to be emotionally disappointed. If there's one thing about Valentine's Day that Stephen Colbert, Aisha Tyler, Mike Birbiglia and the rest of the comics can agree on, it's that there's always room to take it less seriously. Vote for your favorites!
Teens love to celebrate Valentine's Day. The heady mix of first love, freedom, and hormones, make an interesting combination for Valentine's Day. Enjoy this collection of cute Valentine's Day quotes and share it with the one you love. If you feel nervous about confessing your love, use these cute Valentine's Day quotes to woo your sweetheart.
Leo Tolstoy
All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
Are we not like two volumes of one book?
Lao Tzu
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
John Bunyan
Better let my heart be without words, than my words without heart.
Grey Livingston
Candle light, moon light, star light The brightest glow is from love light.
Robert Browning
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
Pixie Foudre
I love you like crazy, baby 'Cuz I'd go crazy without you.
Rabindranath Tagore
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
Winnie the Pooh
If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart... I’ll always be with you.
Winnie the Pooh
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
La Rochefoucauld
If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship.
J. P. Richter
In women everything is heart, even the head.
Andre Gide
It is the special quality of love not to be able to remain stationary, to be obliged to increase under pain of diminishing.
E. E. Cummings
Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.
James A. Baldwin
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
Joyce Carol Oates
Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.
Robert Frost
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
French Proverb
Love is blind. That is why he always proceeds by touch.
Jerome K. Jerome
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is metaphysical gravity.
John Keats
Love is my religion - I could die for it.
Sean Connery
Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
David Viscott
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
Oscar Wilde
When you really want love you will find it waiting for you.
OMG Valentine's day is today? Dammit, I forgot to get a boyfriend again. Ahhh this lovely holiday graces us yet again. As if tripping over the roses addressed to my roommate and the ones on my awful co-workers desk weren't enough to make me want to eat an absurd amount of chocolates (heavily discounted starting today)... I can now thank all of my friends on Facebook and Twitter for suddenly becoming crazy cheesy romantics on this very day. Normally I try to live in the moment but today I'm just looking forward tomorrow. Luckily, I have some amazing single girlfriends so we shall hit the town tonight and toast being sexy & single. ~Anonymous Anti-Valentine's Day post
If you're feeling a bit blah about Valentine's Day this year...you're not alone! The day is almost over and reality will soon be here but until then enjoy a laugh or two with our 25 favorite anti-Valentine's Day quotes...
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~Unknown
I'm single because I was born that way. ~Mae West
Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. ~Sex in the City
Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility. ~Michael Douglas
If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night... your friends. (And on Valentine's Day) ~Sex in the City
I think, therefore I'm single. ~Liz Winston
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. ~Lewis Black
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?' ~Laura Kightlinger
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything. ~Jon Stewart
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day. ~Jay Leno
Every year, girls are like, 'This is the year I get diamonds!' And guys are like, 'This is the year I get a blow***!' Everybody's disappointed. ~Aisha Tyler
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Unknown
Box of chocolate, $20, dinner for two, $80, dozen roses, $100, being single this year on Valentine's Day and saving $200, PRICELESS! ~Unknown
Dear Valentine's Day...thanks for reminding me I'm SINGLE!
Why do I need a date for Valentine's Day? I can buy my own damn flowers and box of chocolate...
Happy SINGLE Awareness Day - no card, no flowers, no chocolate. OH WAIT...no one to tell me what to do, to clean up after, to spend my money - LOL
A Valentine's Day Warning to All Men: If she says she doesn't want a special gift, she's LYING!!! She's just testing your mind-reading capabilities...
2 reasons on why Valentine's Day sucks: 1. it makes single people feel like crap & 2. it's kinda scary to know that a fat baby is running around with a weapon.
I wish that Valentine's Day came with a fast-forward button... ~Unknown
"I'm Single"~It means I know what I deserve and not settling for anything less. I'm independent and I am able of taking care of myself and don't need a man to do so. ~Unknown
Happy phony, romanticized, overly commercial, sucks to be single, pretend that its love, day! ~Anon
Valentine's Day is for couples. Us SINGLES have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves! ~Unknown
REMINDER: Valentine's Day is a gentle reminder that Christmas decorations must come down!
Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
Happy Valentines to all the couples out there, may your love last forever... And to all the single people out there, may your batteries last forever...
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes Biography
If you've landed here in search of a sweet sonnet or other classically romantic line to share with a loved on this Valentine's Day, you might not have come to the right place. But if jokes about the notoriously divisive holiday by some of our favorite comedians is what you're looking for, then we've got you covered.
Check out what 15 different comedians have said in their acts about the day where every person -- not just those in relationships -- has the chance to be emotionally disappointed. If there's one thing about Valentine's Day that Stephen Colbert, Aisha Tyler, Mike Birbiglia and the rest of the comics can agree on, it's that there's always room to take it less seriously. Vote for your favorites!
Teens love to celebrate Valentine's Day. The heady mix of first love, freedom, and hormones, make an interesting combination for Valentine's Day. Enjoy this collection of cute Valentine's Day quotes and share it with the one you love. If you feel nervous about confessing your love, use these cute Valentine's Day quotes to woo your sweetheart.
Leo Tolstoy
All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
Are we not like two volumes of one book?
Lao Tzu
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
John Bunyan
Better let my heart be without words, than my words without heart.
Grey Livingston
Candle light, moon light, star light The brightest glow is from love light.
Robert Browning
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
Pixie Foudre
I love you like crazy, baby 'Cuz I'd go crazy without you.
Rabindranath Tagore
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
Winnie the Pooh
If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart... I’ll always be with you.
Winnie the Pooh
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
La Rochefoucauld
If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship.
J. P. Richter
In women everything is heart, even the head.
Andre Gide
It is the special quality of love not to be able to remain stationary, to be obliged to increase under pain of diminishing.
E. E. Cummings
Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.
James A. Baldwin
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
Joyce Carol Oates
Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.
Robert Frost
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
French Proverb
Love is blind. That is why he always proceeds by touch.
Jerome K. Jerome
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is metaphysical gravity.
John Keats
Love is my religion - I could die for it.
Sean Connery
Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
David Viscott
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
Oscar Wilde
When you really want love you will find it waiting for you.
OMG Valentine's day is today? Dammit, I forgot to get a boyfriend again. Ahhh this lovely holiday graces us yet again. As if tripping over the roses addressed to my roommate and the ones on my awful co-workers desk weren't enough to make me want to eat an absurd amount of chocolates (heavily discounted starting today)... I can now thank all of my friends on Facebook and Twitter for suddenly becoming crazy cheesy romantics on this very day. Normally I try to live in the moment but today I'm just looking forward tomorrow. Luckily, I have some amazing single girlfriends so we shall hit the town tonight and toast being sexy & single. ~Anonymous Anti-Valentine's Day post
If you're feeling a bit blah about Valentine's Day this year...you're not alone! The day is almost over and reality will soon be here but until then enjoy a laugh or two with our 25 favorite anti-Valentine's Day quotes...
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~Unknown
I'm single because I was born that way. ~Mae West
Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. ~Sex in the City
Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility. ~Michael Douglas
If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night... your friends. (And on Valentine's Day) ~Sex in the City
I think, therefore I'm single. ~Liz Winston
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. ~Lewis Black
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?' ~Laura Kightlinger
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything. ~Jon Stewart
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day. ~Jay Leno
Every year, girls are like, 'This is the year I get diamonds!' And guys are like, 'This is the year I get a blow***!' Everybody's disappointed. ~Aisha Tyler
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Unknown
Box of chocolate, $20, dinner for two, $80, dozen roses, $100, being single this year on Valentine's Day and saving $200, PRICELESS! ~Unknown
Dear Valentine's Day...thanks for reminding me I'm SINGLE!
Why do I need a date for Valentine's Day? I can buy my own damn flowers and box of chocolate...
Happy SINGLE Awareness Day - no card, no flowers, no chocolate. OH WAIT...no one to tell me what to do, to clean up after, to spend my money - LOL
A Valentine's Day Warning to All Men: If she says she doesn't want a special gift, she's LYING!!! She's just testing your mind-reading capabilities...
2 reasons on why Valentine's Day sucks: 1. it makes single people feel like crap & 2. it's kinda scary to know that a fat baby is running around with a weapon.
I wish that Valentine's Day came with a fast-forward button... ~Unknown
"I'm Single"~It means I know what I deserve and not settling for anything less. I'm independent and I am able of taking care of myself and don't need a man to do so. ~Unknown
Happy phony, romanticized, overly commercial, sucks to be single, pretend that its love, day! ~Anon
Valentine's Day is for couples. Us SINGLES have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves! ~Unknown
REMINDER: Valentine's Day is a gentle reminder that Christmas decorations must come down!
Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
Happy Valentines to all the couples out there, may your love last forever... And to all the single people out there, may your batteries last forever...
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
Valentine s Day Funny Quotes
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